Into The Marvelous Light

Dedicated to Alex Charleston

“Aunt Julia, are you still an author?”  Alex asked the exact same question a second time over dinner six months later.  The question resonated in my head as the words swirled round and round.   Obviously, Alex missed my writing.  I felt I owed him an honest answer, but how could I explain something I didn’t understand myself?  I had no clue how to respond.  My thoughts were still very clouded and the darkness still surrounded me. “I just don’t know, Alex.”  That was about all I could think of to say. 

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  John 1:5

Darkness and light cannot co-exist.  Light a candle in a dark room and the room will illuminate, chasing the darkness away.

I felt a gentle nudge [Holy Spirit] to shine the light in the dark places of my heart.  But how in the world was I supposed to do that?  I felt another soft tug [Holy Spirit] to tell someone what was happening to me.  Perhaps if I told, I could begin to see again.  Hope once again filled my heart, but faded quickly as I crossed names of friends and family members off my mind’s list, including my own husband.  The evil one sat perched on my shoulder like a vulture waiting to devour his dying prey, whispering irrational but believable lies, “There is no one who will ever understand.  You are all alone.”  

I penned desperate words in my journal.  “God, NO ONE will understand.  PLEASE SEND HELP!”

The phone rang and that tender nudge [Holy Spirit] had become a strong prod;  this time to answer the phone.   I answered “Hello?”  There was a familiar voice on the other end that I couldn’t recognize.  Her panic stricken voice asked, “What’s wrong?” From just me saying  “hello” she knew that something was terribly wrong with me. Tears rolled down my face as reality hit me: God heard my cries and sent help.  I shared my hurting heart, and we prayed.  Coming together unified in prayer, God shined His light to expose the lies, and lifted the shroud of darkness that almost consumed me.  God used my dear friend Kristie to remind me of  His love for me and that I am never alone. 

If you find yourself in the dark, please don’t give up.  Don’t listen to the lies.  Reject them.  Replace the lies with the truth of God’s promises.  Persevere.  Run through the darkness.  Stay in the word, continue to pray and invite people into your life to pray for you.  We are most vulnerable to attacks when we isolate ourselves; which is exactly what I did, and in so doing, I opened my front door and invited the evil one into my home.

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

The more I shared my story, the stronger that faint distant light became until the light was so bright that the evil one had no choice but to flee.  Darkness and light cannot co-exist. 

God also used my nephew, Alex, to remind me that it was time to get back to work.  This world has become an unpredictable and scary place, and we are going to need to stick together to encourage each other, to build each other up and to empower each other, just as Kristie and Alex did for me. 

So, dear sweet Alex, to answer your question:  Yes…I am still an author. 

I pray my experience will help shine the light into the dark places of your heart and illuminate your soul.

Peace be with you.