Dedicated to Alex Charleston

“Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”  Micah 7:8

“Are you still an author, Aunt Julia?”  It was a question my sweet nephew, Alex, asked me over the Christmas Holiday.  Interesting.  I’ve never thought of myself as an author, but obviously  Alex does. His confidence in my writing is still intact, whereas my confidence had disappeared. What happened?

Darkness happened.

I woke up one morning surrounded by darkness.  I found myself overwhelmed with sadness.  I had no idea how I got there, nor did I know the way out.  For over a year, doom and gloom lingered as I drifted further into the abyss.  As Christians, we are tethered to the cross.  When we wander too far away, it’s the Holy Spirit that  gently pulls us back.  But in my case, I was chained to the world.  No matter how hard I tried to get back to the cross, life’s shackles kept me from getting too close.

I had become vulnerable to the evil one’s attacks.  Satan had a tight grip on that chain and wasn’t letting go, and every time I felt the Holy Spirit’s gentle tug,  evil would jerk me back into the world; back into the dark.  Satan was subtle, slithering in through my bitter, angry heart.  He crept in through my sadness as I isolated myself.  He inched his way through the television as I watched the world turn upside down.  It wasn’t long before my very soul was at stake.  I was convinced the only way out of this profound, dark sadness was death.  Evil made the irrational thought seem rational.

Death was the only way out.

Fear overwhelmed me as I listened to the evil one whisper lies into my ear.  “There’s no one here to help you.  No one cares about you.  You will never escape the darkness.  You are all alone.”

Even with the dark cloud over my head, I still opened my bible every day, and on the rare days when thoughts were rational, I would journal and pray.  During this time I read Ann Voskamp’s article on a man named Cliff Young, a poor, 61 year old farmer who won the Melbourne to Sydney, Australia Ultra-Marathon in 1983.  His “tortoise and the hare” running style helped him not only win, but break the record by two whole days.  He had no training, no sponsors, and no proper clothing.  How do you suppose he accomplished such an incredible feat?  He ran through the dark while all the other runners slept.  He ran through the dark because he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to. Perseverance.  Running through the dark is how we overcome it.  As I read Cliff’s story, I began to see a faint, distant light dancing on the horizon.

Hope

To be continued….