Out of the Darkness – Part II

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Julia Charleston

Into The Marvelous Light

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Dedicated to Alex Charleston

“Aunt Julia, are you still an author?”  Alex asked the exact same question a second time over dinner six months later.  The question resonated in my head as the words swirled round and round.   Obviously, Alex missed my writing.  I felt I owed him an honest answer, but how could I explain something I didn’t understand myself?  I had no clue how to respond.  My thoughts were still very clouded and the darkness still surrounded me. “I just don’t know, Alex.”  That was about all I could think of to say. 

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  John 1:5untitled (2)

Darkness and light cannot co-exist.  Light a candle in a dark room and the room will illuminate, chasing the darkness away.

I felt a gentle nudge [Holy Spirit] to shine the light in the dark places of my heart.  But how in the world was I supposed to do that?  I felt another soft tug [Holy Spirit] to tell someone what was happening to me.  Perhaps if I told, I could begin to see again.  Hope once again filled my heart, but faded quickly as I crossed names of friends and family members off my mind’s list, including my own husband.  The evil one sat perched on my shoulder like a vulture waiting to devour his dying prey, whispering irrational but believable lies, “There is no one who will ever understand.  You are all alone.”  

I penned desperate words in my journal.  “God, NO ONE will understand.  PLEASE SEND HELP!”

The phone rang and that tender nudge [Holy Spirit] had become a strong prod;  this time to answer the phone.   I answered “Hello?”  There was a familiar voice on the other end that I couldn’t recognize.  Her panic stricken voice asked, “What’s wrong?” From just me saying  “hello” she knew that something was terribly wrong with me. Tears rolled down my face as reality hit me: God heard my cries and sent help.  I shared my hurting heart, and we prayed.  Coming together unified in prayer, God shined His light to expose the lies, and lifted the shroud of darkness that almost consumed me.  God used my dear friend Kristie to remind me of  His love for me and that I am never alone. 

images3WTE36KSIf you find yourself in the dark, please don’t give up.  Don’t listen to the lies.  Reject them.  Replace the lies with the truth of God’s promises.  Persevere.  Run through the darkness.  Stay in the word, continue to pray and invite people into your life to pray for you.  We are most vulnerable to attacks when we isolate ourselves; which is exactly what I did, and in so doing, I opened my front door and invited the evil one into my home.

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

The more I shared my story, the stronger that faint distant light became until the light was so bright that the evil one had no choice but to flee.  Darkness and light cannot co-exist. 

God also used my nephew, Alex, to remind me that it was time to get back to work.  This world has become an unpredictable and scary place, and we are going to need to stick together to encourage each other, to build each other up and to empower each other, just as Kristie and Alex did for me. 

So, dear sweet Alex, to answer your question:  Yes…I am still an author. 

I pray my experience will help shine the light into the dark places of your heart and illuminate your soul.

Peace be with you.

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Out of the Darkness – Part I

Posted on August 28, 2014 by Julia Charleston

  Dedicated to Alex Charleston

“Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”  Micah 7:8

“Are you still an author, Aunt Julia?”  It was a question my sweet nephew, Alex, asked me over the Christmas Holiday.  Interesting.  I’ve never thought of myself as an author, but obviously  Alex does. His confidence in my writing is still intact, whereas my confidence had disappeared. What happened?

Darkness happened.

I woke up one morning surrounded by darkness.  I found myself overwhelmed with sadness.  I had no idea how I got there, nor did I know the way out.  For over a year, doom and gloom lingered as I drifted further into the abyss.  As Christians, we are tethered to the cross.  When we wander too far away, it’s the Holy Spirit that  gently pulls us back.  But in my case, I was chained to the world.  No matter how hard I tried to get back to the cross, life’s shackles kept me from getting too close.

I had become vulnerable to the evil one’s attacks.  Satan had a tight grip on that chain and wasn’t letting go, and every time I felt the Holy Spirit’s gentle tug,  evil would jerk me back into the world; back into the dark.  Satan was subtle, slithering in through my bitter, angry heart.  He crept in through my sadness as I isolated myself.  He inched his way through the television as I watched the world turn upside down.  It wasn’t long before my very soul was at stake.  I was convinced the only way out of this profound, dark sadness was death.  Evil made the irrational thought seem rational.

Death was the only way out.

Fear overwhelmed me as I listened to the evil one whisper lies into my ear.  “There’s no one here to help you.  No one cares about you.  You will never escape the darkness.  You are all alone.”

Even with the dark cloud over my head, I still opened my bible every day, and on the rare days when thoughts were rational, I would journal and pray.  During this time I read Ann Voskamp’s article on a man named Cliff Young, a poor, 61 year old farmer who won the Melbourne to Sydney, Australia Ultra-Marathon in 1983.  His “tortoise and the hare” running style helped him not only win, but break the record by two whole days.  He had no training, no sponsors, and no proper clothing.  How do you suppose he accomplished such an incredible feat?  He ran through the dark while all the other runners slept.  He ran through the dark because he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to. Perseverance.  Running through the dark is how we overcome it.  As I read Cliff’s story, I began to see a faint, distant light dancing on the horizon.

Hope

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To be continued….

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Forgiveness Trumps Divorce

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Julia Charleston

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“‘For I hate divorce!’ says  the Lord, the God of Israel.”  Malachi 2:16 NLT

Justine’s  marriage was in trouble.   Their decade long struggle  left her with little hope.  She believed her marriage was over.  She moved in with us for a little while, just to get her head straight and make a decision without any distractions.

However, I was a huge distraction.  I loved Justine.  She was my sister in Christ and I hated seeing her in so much pain.  At that time in my life, I didn’t fully understand God’s plan for marriage and  I began praying for her to find the courage to begin the divorce process.

God had other plans.  God had put on Justine’s heart to fight for her marriage.  He gave her a vision of her husband lying at the foot of the cross, while she and her boys waited off to the side.

Justine shared God’s vision for her marriage with me, and told me that forgiveness trumped divorce.   God convicted me, and I immediately began  praying for reconciliation.  After a long journey of fighting, God brought restoration and healing to their marriage.  They recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary by renewing their wedding vows.  God did not put their marriage back together the way it was.  He blessed them with a new & improved marriage.

I’m so grateful that Justine listened to God instead of me.  God’s unfailing love for  Justine’s marriage has convinced me to pray for restoration of ALL marriages, no matter what the circumstances.

fightforyourmarriage3God wants to save your marriage, if you are willing to fight.  Pray for healing and restoration.  Talk to your pastor.  Find a counselor.  Go to a marriage conference.  Maybe there’s a married couple who might journey with you while you walk through this crisis.  There are so many resources out there for you.  Ask for and accept help.  Do whatever you can to fight for your marriage.  And when you’ve done everything you can think of, get on your knees and ask God for the strength to fight some more.  Never stop fighting for your marriage.  Forgiveness trumps divorce.

KCLWFFKirk Cameron hosts a marriage event called Love Worth Fighting For.  He does a fantastic job sharing God’s message to fight for your marriage with everything you have.

Mountaintop Community Church in Birmingham, AL is hosting this event on Friday, April 19 at 7pm.

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Oxygen Anyone?

Posted on February 12, 2013 by Julia Charleston

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12:31

The scripture “Love your neighbor as yourself” is repeated ten times in the bible:  Once in Leviticus, three times in Matthew, twice in Mark, once in Luke, Romans, Galatians, and James.  Mark 12:31b actually states, “There is no commandment greater than these.”  God must really want us to understand this.  We are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It is practically impossible to love anyone if we do not love ourselves.

oxygenWhen traveling by air, as soon as the fuselage door is closed, the flight attendants go over safety procedures.  Oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling and passengers are reminded to put the masks over their own mouths first in order to assist others with their masks.  The same principle can be applied here:  We cannot love our neighbors if we do not love ourselves, which means we must love ourselves first.  One must conclude that we cannot love ourselves and punish ourselves at the same time which is a rejection of God’s Grace.  In order to love ourselves, we must learn to let go of the things we have done in our past that we are ashamed of; the things that continue to push us further into our pit.

Scripture also tells us not to judge.  If we are not willing to accept God’s gift of forgiveness, then we are judging ourselves. (1Cor 4:3)  Applying the same principle as stated above, you cannot love yourself and judge yourself at the same time.  Your unwillingness to forgive yourself is playing God.  God is the One and Only true judge.

Refusing to forgive yourself is saying  the blood Jesus shed was not sufficient to cover your sins.  So, I suppose it all comes down to one simple question:  How much more blood must Jesus have shed in order for your sins to be forgiven?

Peace be with you.

~Julia

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Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?

Posted on January 18, 2013 by Julia Charleston

“You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.”  Micah 7:19 NLT

Do you remember the classic movie Animal House?  In the fraternity paddle scene, in hopes of being accepted into the pretentious fraternity, Chip Diller assumes the bent over position, and is smacked repeatedly with a wooden paddle on his fanny.  “Thank you Sir, may I have another?” is his recurring line.

That’s how I feel sometimes.  No matter how far removed I am from my past, it continues to haunt me.  And rather than let go of the past and move on, the constant beating is the only payment that removes the guilt I feel for what I have done.

Thank you.  May I have another?

God forgives us as soon as we ask for forgiveness, but for some reason, we’d rather continue whipping ourselves.  Sometimes it’s all we know.  We are familiar with punishing ourselves, even if it’s bad for us.  Rather than change, we assume the position.

Thank you.  May I have another?

In the early 1500’s reformist Martin Luther was disgusted with how the Catholic Church handled forgiveness of sins.  The priests would sell indulgences to the rich, and to the poor, they would pass out penance.  The penance would often include beating one’s self with a whip until the sinner felt worthy of forgiveness, or until they were able to come up with money to purchase the indulgence.   This practice was one of the main reasons Luther wrote his “Ninety-Five Theses” and taped them to the chapel door at Wittenburg.  He wanted people to know that grace comes from God through the shed blood of Jesus and is a gift that is freely given to any and all who believe.  No amount of money or thrashing can earn His free gift of mercy.  So why do we continue to whip ourselves?

We all have done and said things in our past we are not proud of.  When we become a Christian, we become a new person. [2 Corinthians 5:17]  We stop doing the things we did before.  We learn from our mistakes.  Romans 6:1,2a reiterates, “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more grace?  Of course not.”  We need to take responsibility for our actions.  Scripture does tell us to mourn our sin.  In James 4:9-10, we are told to shed “tears for what you [we] have done.  Let there be sorrow and deep grief.  Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.”  Afterward, when we “humble ourselves before the Lord, He will lift you [us] up.”

The evil one will continue to bring our past up to discourage us.  His job is to kill, steal, and destroy [John 10:10].  Don’t listen to his lies.  God promises us that we are forgiven.

If we are going to extend forgiveness to others, we first must accept forgiveness ourselves.  Why are we holding onto our transgressions if God promises to hurl our sin into the sea?  Rather than assume the position, we can accept God’s free gift of grace, mourn our sin and humble ourselves before the Lord, replace lies with God’s truth and let go of the past so that we can start living the life that God has planned for us.

Peace be with you~

Julia

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Forgiveness

Posted on January 2, 2013 by Julia Charleston

“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.”
~Mother Theresa

During the last year, the focal point of this blog has been perseverance. I have enjoyed writing and learning about what God has to say about perseverance.  The past year has taught me that no matter what I was going through there was always someone who was dealing with a bigger crisis, but we prevailed through prayer and community.  When our faith is challenged it is easy to find ourselves in the pit.  As we persevere through our hardships and claw our way out, God honors our obedience with peace and replaces our sadness with joy.   Amen.

As we begin the New Year, I have prayerfully decided to change topics.  This world can be a dark and evil place.  These are uncertain times, and bad things happen every single day, with no explanation or understanding.  Now more than ever, living this life requires daily forgiveness. That is where my focus will be for 2013:  unsolicited, unapologetic, Jesus-like forgiveness.

Forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult Christian principles to practice. People are capable of doing horrible things to each other, and  rather than forgive we carry our un-forgiveness around with us, which weighs us down.  Bitterness and anger take hold and harden our hearts and we find ourselves living in bondage.

I have personally lived a life in the shackles of an unforgiving heart.  However, during my twenty-five year pursuit of forgiveness God met me right where I was.  He gave me the willingness to want to forgive and then set me free by giving me the courage and the strength to change.   He can do the same for you.  To begin walking the journey that God has laid out before you, simply make a decision to move.  It may not be possible to forgive on our own, but with God’s help, all things are possible.

I’d like to invite you on a journey:   a fresh new journey toward forgiveness.  A journey of love, and healing, of unity and completeness.  A journey to become a whole unique person, full of life, love, and wonder.  As we walk this journey together, with God in the center, I pray we will find forgiveness to be the key to a healthy and happy heart.

Feel free to leave a comment; I would love to hear your insights on forgiveness.  We can learn from each other.  I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for us in 2013.

Peace be with you.

~Julia

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Yada, Yada, Yada

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Julia Charleston

“Always be joyful.  Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT

Corrie ten Boom tells of a time of thanksgiving in her book, The Hiding Place.  She and her sister, Betsie, were thrown into the Ravensbruck Camp during WWII because they were caught hiding Jewish people in their home.  The barracks was infested with fleas.  They found comfort in the Lord as they read their tattered bible, and they held secret bible studies.  The passage 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminded them to “Be thankful in all circumstances.”  Betsie suggested they be thankful for everything, including the fleas.  Corrie disagreed, telling her sister she would not be thankful for fleas.  Corrie eventually succumbed to Betsie’s persistence to be thankful IN all circumstances; and they gave thanks for even the fleas.  Later on, they found out the Nazi officers would not enter the barracks because of the fleas.  After that, they were free to have bible study any time they wanted.  God had used the fleas to protect them.

Sometimes, blessings can come out of adversity.  It’s easy to give thanks when things are going well in our lives.  But what about the fleas?  Fleas look different for each person; financial issues, marital crisis, or health problems can overwhelm our thoughts.  Can we give thanks in spite of the fleas in our lives?  It’s hard to be thankful in our trials, and it takes practice.  We need to persevere in our thankfulness.

“We thank you, O God!  We give thanks because you are near.  People everywhere tell of your wonderful deeds.”  [Psalm 75:1 NLT]  The Hebrew translation for the words “give thanks” in this passage is Yada.  God loves when we give thanks to Him, particularly when we are in the midst of trials.  He especially loves when we share our yada’s with others.

Yesterday, my sweet friend, Betsy and I drove up to Milestones Recovery Center.  We go up there once a month to share Christ’s love and an encouraging word.  These ladies have been through so much adversity in their lives, and they have come to a place of healing.  We talked about persevering in our thankfulness and we talked about fleas.  And then, we yada’d.  We gave thanks for everything.  Each yada was sweet, beautiful music to my ears.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the place.  They yada’d for their children, for their recovery, for their safety and some yada’d for their very lives. And, they even yada’d for the fleas.  That room was sacred holy ground and we felt the presence of the Lord.  And when we left, we floated out to the car, as if God had carried us out Himself.  We were so full.

My yada is this:  I am so thankful the Lord saved me from myself.  I am so thankful for my family.  I am so thankful for the beautiful ladies at Milestones.  And I am so thankful for the sweet angels that God has sent to help me walk this journey (you know who you are.)

Would you be willing to leave a comment on this page sharing your yada with others?

Peace be with you.

~Julia

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Be Still

Posted on October 27, 2012 by Julia Charleston

“Be still, and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10 NLT

The Lord works in mysterious ways.  We do not always know His plans for our lives.  If we are lucky, we may get to see a glimpse of Him through our circumstances – but most of the time, we walk blindly by faith and hope that we’re doing what God has called us to do.

How do you know when God is calling?  You’ll know by the anxiety you feel that you are not possibly equipped to handle the task at hand.  You’ll know because it will keep coming up from every direction; someone will say something, or you will read scripture that speaks to you on this particular topic.  It will be so far outside of your comfort zone that you will want to ignore the calling, but you will not be able to get away from it.  So, be still.

What does it mean to be still?  Being still involves allowing God to work without getting in his way.

The Book of Esther in the Old Testament is a dramatic story full of romance, conspiracy, and murder; and tells of the near destruction of the Jewish people.

Queen Esther was called to save the lives of the Jewish community at the risk of losing her own. She knew that she could not do this in her own strength.  God sent Mordicai to instruct her to talk to the king and was convinced this was indeed her calling when he asked her the question, “Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”  [Esther 4:14]  She needed strength and courage that only God could provide.  After fasting and praying, she bravely and obediently walked through door God had opened.  Many Jewish lives were saved, including her own.

Has God called you to do something that you just do not want to do?  Perhaps it’s a difficult task that’s hard to visualize because you cannot see the end result.  When God calls you to do something, He will provide strength, courage, and resources to make sure His will is done.   All you have to do to be obedient to His calling is walk through the door He has opened.

Persevere through your calling; be still, be obedient, and allow God to lead the way.  Who knows if you were put in your situation for just such a time as this?

Peace be with you.

~Julia

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Love Them Anyway

Posted on October 5, 2012 by Julia Charleston

“Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:12-14 NLT

We all have people in our lives we find little patience for or don’t quite understand.   We don’t like nor do we appreciate the choices some make, or how they treat others.  We allow them to hurt us with their words, their actions, or their attitudes.

We wonder why God has put the unlovable in our lives; why we seem to always find ourselves around them without knowing how we keep coming together.  Sometimes, the unlovable is a family member, and we have no choice but to figure out how to live at peace with them.

It is difficult to love everyone, all the time, and if we are honest, we can all agree that we have been the unlovable to someone at some point in our lives.

It is important to remember that hurting people hurt people.  If we stop and look at the unlovable through God’s eyes rather than through the lens of their mistakes, perhaps we would see a different side; a softer, more vulnerable side.  If we bear with the unlovable with compassion, gentleness and patience, and then forgive them, perhaps we can show them a love they have never seen before.  If we take the time to listen to the unlovable, and look past their actions to see their heart, we would be able to show them this unconditional love God is talking about.

Loving them anyway goes against everything the world tells us to do.  Our human instinct tells us to reject them and move on; and yes, there are times when we must protect ourselves from that way of thinking.  God does not expect us to be doormats in order to love the unlovable.  But we must first try to “live at peace with everyone.” [Romans 12:18 NLT]

Something happens when we love people anyway, despite their harsh words or their negative attitudes.   Just as you see them differently, they begin to see you with different eyes.  They wonder how you could possibly love them after the way they treated you; and you can tell them, “Because God did it for me.”

When we love the unlovable, we open a door to their soul for God to enter and do His work.

Let’s persevere in loving the unlovable.  Let’s forgive and love them anyway, and see what our Lord God will do; and I pray for those of you who I have offended would forgive me and love me anyway.

Peace be with you.

~Julia

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God Knows What He is Doing

Posted on September 18, 2012 by Julia Charleston

“Have you never heard?  Have you never understood?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.  He never grows weak or weary.  No one can measure the depths of His understanding.”  Isaiah 40:28

God knows what He is doing.

God has whispered this sweet truth into my ear during every conversation.  As people shared their struggles and their victories with me, I repeated the phrase over and over again, “God knows what He’s doing.” A marriage crumbling, but a minor accident brought them back together; a woman laid off from her 10+ year job at just the right time for God to reveal His dream for her life; a woman persevering in an extremely toxic work environment, clinging to hope that God would show up in her work place, and He did.

God knows what He is doing.

Death which brought healing and unity to a family; a team of missionaries going halfway around the world just in time to bring help and hope to many people who were displaced due to monsoon and flooding; a family who lost their home, but gained salvation through perseverance in their circumstances; two friends living parallel lives for 12 years until their paths crossed again as they dealt with similar crisis at the same time.

God knows what He is doing.

It’s hard for us to see God’s plan especially when we are in the middle of crisis. If we look at our issues from a worldly perspective, our perception becomes flawed and sort of, one dimensional. We want peace and we want it now.  Sometimes when we cannot see the big picture, we miss the point.  We must remember that God always has a plan; better than anything we could ever put into place.  We must remember to be patient and wait for Him to work. Peace always comes when we get out of God’s way.

We can then give Him all the glory resting in that truth.

God knows what He is doing.

Peace be with you.

~Julia

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