“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

We all have struggled with memories of a traumatic and painful past; those memories that come back like a thorn in our flesh.  For the most part, those painful or traumatic times have become a part of our lives, and we will always have to deal with them. They are a significant part of who we are. As we go through life, something will happen that will trigger our memories which will send us spiraling downward into that dark pit once again.  Perhaps we hear a song that reminds us of yesterday, or a word spoken by a friend.  Sometimes the anniversary of the event is enough to trigger a journey back to the pit and our emotions from that difficult time will come flooding back.

There’s a young man I know who, years ago, made a suicide attempt.  It was spring time and he become very depressed.  It was a traumatic experience.  He had swallowed a bottle of pills and was rushed to the hospital.  Too much time had lapsed to pump his stomach, so he had to drink this thick charcoal solution over and over again to absorb the drugs.   By God’s hand he survived, however every spring, the smell of flowers blooming takes him back to that tragic time when he tried to end his life, and he finds himself back in the dark pit only to relive that time of despair.  It is a difficult time of year for him; yet as he is sent down that road of remembrance, each year gets easier.     

We try with all our might to avoid revisiting those hard painful times in our lives, but I believe it is all part of a healing process.  The bible tells us over and over to remember what God has done for us.  Each time we experience our past, the pain isn’t as intense as it was the time before.  We learn how to deal with it better and we remember that God was with us, and He got us through it.  We remember God’s miraculous healing that took place and it gets easier.

I recently experienced an event that sent me spiraling out of control.  Nothing made sense to me.  I could not think straight and I could not trust my own thoughts or feelings.  The tragic events of my past haunted me.  I was an emotional wreck. I was falling back into my pit once again. I was confused most of the time and I cried out to the Lord, “I thought I was over this!”  I begged Him to deliver me from the darkness and lead me back into the light.  He showed me that others struggled in the pit, too, and they served as a reminder to me that He always has a plan for healing. I finally understood, and everything became clear once again.

I believe that God has us revisit our past so that we will remember what He has done.  God will use our painful past to help others for His glory.  We can relate to others who are going through similar circumstances, and God will use our pain to offer hope and encouragement.  We can pray for others and let them know that they are not alone and that they will be okay.  This is a natural part of healing.  It means we are getting better.

As painful as our past can be, let God take you where you need to go.  Let God teach you what you need to learn.  Let God show you what you need to see.  Persevere over the darkness of your past.

God will show up – and He will show you the way out.

Peace be with you.

~Julia